currently:
I became disenchanted with the idea of dreadlocks. as well as, pissed off at the lack of help i got when I begain them so; i chopped my hair off. ( left one long braid, to remember how long it once got..because I may be dead before it ever grows as long as it was again. ) this evening. I died it blonde, which is to say: I currently have hair that is more of an orange shade then tropicana orange juice.
whatever.
could be worse.
attempting to weigh my options.
i've been making milkshakes
for a long time.
started mananging the milkshake making
a long time ago.
stupid.
dead end.
job.
loved pentangle.
would rather work in a office supply store.
getting ready to throw in the towel.
I'm falling apart
with no health care.
no money for decent food
and way to many hours on my feet in less then heathly conditions, for less then an adaquate wages.
it's fucked.
i don't know why ihave allowed myself to rot like this for so long.
my relationship
is loving.
our motivation is lacking.
he has all these ideas
that i deem as unrealistic ( everytime )
and they always start with lot's of gumption and peter out..
we usually break even.
it may be the end times.
or
in the very least.
the change times.
i have to do something for me.
my little sister, is singing and playing the guitar like none other.
Im so proud of her.
she's beautiful
and smart
and doesn't drink like me.
( or smoke. )
the dog is having crazy dreams
barking up a storm at the foot of the bed.
i have to get happy.
i still haven't figured that out.
i cry less now.
i stopped letting family get to me.
but now i have to focus on school
or a career.
or a plan
as usual.
damn.
I'm too afraid to sleep in my own home when no one else is there.
two armed robberies across the street in the last two weeks
these people are rounding victims into bedrooms or living rooms
and holding them there at gun point as the raid there thing.s
so tonight
i sleep at my moms.
( but she has cable and internet and SO!
no drinks.
just anthony bourdain
and diaryland.
)
2:08 a.m. - 2011-02-08
Recent entries:
- - 2011-12-12
- - 2011-12-09
getting there. - 2011-12-06
scoobydoobydoowapwap,mynameis ANGELA - 2011-11-29
swimming - 2011-11-28
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